I generally present my clients with three options: (c) conservative; (b) aggressive; and (a) so-aggressive-you'd-better-be-sitting-down heart-stopping. These are the (a) ads. I love them. They should have been run, but weren't. Yeah, I could even scare Larry Ellison. Enjoy.

[Ads even MY clients didn't have guts enough to run.] Post Modern Computing: Okay, so what's with the spider? Oracle: A second shot at Ashton-Tate Oracle: Let's go get IBM! Oracle: Two analysts issue negative reports. Forte: An analyst for your own underwriter downgrades you! Forte: Competitor changes names and moves offices. Junglee: Play Monopoly for real. Linuxcare: How come nobody wants to take on Bill Gates? Xenometrics: These ads got me fired before I ever got hired. Vantive: Silicon Valley recruitment billboard. Vantive: Should have shot Siebel when they had the chance. If only I wrote speeches for the president.